Dear Abby: Controlling hubby a relationship miser

Dear Abby This letter is embarrassing to write When calling in a fast-food order my husband wants me to ask the price of each item and becomes upset if they vary from the online menu price I understand that in this financial system there are bound to be increases One day the difference was about Because I didn t question it a heated argument ensued He disclosed Just forget it I called back and explained my husband no longer requested it These fast-food places are busy and short-staffed I don t think it is right to bug them further Also I had a stroke and can t do fast math in my head We have the money or I wouldn t place the order I tried discussing the disagreement he reported I just want to be right This has been a LONG -plus years that I ve had with him He was poor when he was growing up but we are no longer poor by any means It s his controlling behavior that I hate His reaction is constantly the same Why don t you walk away LEAVE I know he reads your column Maybe you can help I know I m tired and I think his behavior is emotionally abusive and controlling He s and too old to be acting like that Unfortunately he s been this way his whole life I need help Takeout in Ohio Dear Takeout It goes without saying that from now on your husband should be the one ordering the fast food If he requirements it to be a band effort he can dictate the numbers for you to write down and add them up himself I do not think his comments about your walking away and leaving him are helpful unless he is this controlling in other aspects of your marriage Remind him that if the root of your disagreements is money a divorce would be far more expensive than marriage counseling Then ask your clinician for a referral Dear Abby I enjoy your column and read it often I feel compelled to comment on the letter from Regretful in the Midwest June I feel you didn t go far enough in regard to that letter from the mother of a transgender adult whose new co-worker made fun of transgender people in front of her and presumably others Actions such as these are no longer tolerated in the workplace and she should record it to her supervisor or human support if there is another occurrence She could even do it now She certainly does not need to disclose her personal situation Kevin H in California Dear Kevin Thank you for writing The comments I received about that letter were informative Multiple readers informed me that the term I used in reference to trans people gender identity disorder is outdated and no longer in use With the American Psychiatric Association s publication of DSM- the term was eliminated and replaced with gender dysphoria articulating explicitly that gender nonconformity is NOT a disorder I should have known better Mea culpa Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA